5 Characteristics And Traits Of Selfish People


Many a times we come across people who are hard to forget. Well, not always because they are helpful or bequeath us with some wonderful experiences, but sometimes because they give us unforgettable awful experiences with their utterly bad behavior and selfish characteristics.

 

Though, we hardly expect everybody to be good and helpful to us, we don’t even expect that people use us for their benefits and behave in a manner to make us feel low or worthless. We don’t expect that people should help us in return for everything we do for them, but we do expect that people would at least notice and weigh our efforts made to help them and not just take our efforts as granted.

 

Despite this, we still come across people who are mean, arrogant, egotistical and selfish. Encounters with such people leave us feeling hurtful and used to a great extent. Moreover, if one is a sensitive person with a soft heart, then such associations might give them hard-to-forget, distressing experiences. One or two such experiences would surely leave us flabbergasted and we would wish to stay away from such people in the future.

 

Though it is not easy to recognize a selfish person immediately, they possess some particular traits and some peculiar characteristics. We can keep ourselves off-hook if we know their baiting traits.

 

·        All selfish people display a very uncaring attitude and a strong “Me first” trait.

 

A very peculiar and common trait which all selfish and conceited people possess is that they always put themselves and their needs on the forefront. They only give heed to their priorities, their goals and in the process would not think of anyone else, not even about those who might be really needy than them.

 

When it comes to getting their needs met and their work done, they would turn a deaf ear to the necessities of others. Such selfish people do not believe in the “Live and Let Live“ philosophy, constantly putting their own needs and desires first, they just live for themselves.

 

A selfish person would view others only as a means to get what they want. They have a have tunnel vision which starts from and leads to themselves and their personal needs alone.

 

·        Another trait which selfish and conceited people show is being manipulative, scheming and plotting most of the times.

 

This trait arises from the fact that selfish people are driven by the fear of loss of control. They therefore become very manipulative and scheming. They tend to control everything by maligning someone’s reputation or by misrepresenting things.

 

Selfish people have a great inherent desire to control situations and people and are unwilling to reach compromises with others. To get their own way they would down cast others and debase anybody’s reputation.

 

·        Another conspicuous trait which all conceited and selfish people display is of being calculative and accumulators.

 

Oscar Wilde, the Irish writer, poet and prominent aesthete, has expressed this demeaning selfish trait in such beautiful words, “There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.”

 

This selfish characteristic gives people a grave tendency to hold and hoard things to themselves.

 

It becomes difficult for such people to part with even simple things like their time and efforts, leave aside important things like money. They would hoard all the resources to themselves and would not share it with anyone even if those resources would go wasted and depleted.

 

They would never think of sacrificing anything for anybody and in case they do it some time they would expect a lot in return. Insecurity might be the reason behind this base characteristic the selfish people display. They feel it is their right to receive from others but never feel obliged to return anything.  Selfish people behave in this manner because they don’t know how to balance giving with taking.

 

 

·        Low self esteem is another characteristic displayed by selfish people that gives them a negative outlook towards life and making them contemptuous of others in general.

 

This negative trait towards everything makes them bad team players as they always try to pull down others with their remarks, actions or suggestions.

 

They find it hard to motivate and inspire people because they themselves lack motivation and the drive to look ahead in life. This characteristic makes them unpopular in a team and a misfit at group tasks.

 

·        A selfish person is highly self centered and self obsessed.

This trait makes them see or hear no one else. They become bad listeners and give little or no consideration to what others have to say. They are inconsiderate and have little or no room for compassion. They would cut off conversations and bring the focus on themselves.

It becomes their earnest desire to be seen and heard more than anyone else making them oblivious to the opinions, suggestions and advices of others. All the conversations they indulge in pertain and turn back to themselves.

Looking at the traits and characteristics selfish people possess, one thing becomes obvious that selfish people do not need your contempt. You surely have to keep yourself shielded from their negativist traits but you don’t need to run from them.

All of us are selfish to some extent, but when the traits and characteristics go beyond control they make us selfish down to the core. Selfish people are ridiculed and downcast by the society in general.

A big non-selfish and selfless trait would be to understand such people and help them out of their selfishness and greedy attitude by accepting their presence, although cautiously.  

Of course be careful not to fall in the trap of their cagey attitude, but by not ignoring them and remaining unfazed and unaffected by their damaging, detrimental and calculating behavior, you might help a selfish person understand the value of selflessness. You never know, how greatly your selfless approach can help a selfish person reform into a kind, loving and unassuming soul.

The thought is so rightly put forth by James Allen, the philosophical writer, “The selfishness must be discovered and understood before it can be removed. It is powerless to remove itself, neither will it pass away of itself. Darkness ceases only when light is introduced; So ignorance can only be dispersed by Knowledge; Selfishness by Love.”



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66 Responses to “5 Characteristics And Traits Of Selfish People”

  1. Deus X. Nihilo says:

    This article gave me a good, hearty laugh. As a proudly selfish, self-serving narcissistic son of a bitch, allow me to explain these selfish traits for all you whiney loser pussbags:

    “All selfish people display a very uncaring attitude and a strong ‘Me first’ trait.”

    You’re goddam right about that. Absolutely. That’s because selfish people act to achieve their own subjective values for themselves. Notice that the blog author blathers on about “needs”. Holy shit, I am sick and f**ing tired with the mindless zombie hordes and their precious “needs”, which usually means their own DESIRE to devour you because they’re too fat and stupid to act in fulfillment of their own chosen values–well, they can’t even choose values in the first place, let alone act to acquire them. This “needs”-based thinking dominates most of the world now and it’s disgusting and repulsive. This is why we selfish pricks hold so many of you in utter contempt. You refuse to grow up.

    “Another trait which selfish and conceited people show is being manipulative, scheming and plotting most of the times.”

    Yes, I do what I must when surrounded by needy, cannibalistic zombies who refuse to think for themselves, which is pretty much 99.8% of the time. They can barely handle the truth without flying into a rage so it becomes necessary to lie to the poor stupid creatures lest they turn on you and start eating you alive with their pathetic neediness. People who insist on being dishonest with themselves and others do not deserve honesty or respect from others. People who REFUSE, yes, utterly REFUSE, to exercise their brains for even just a few minutes a day deserve all the dishonesty and manipulation they get.

    “Low self esteem is another characteristic displayed by selfish people that gives them a negative outlook towards life and making them contemptuous of others in general.”

    Ha, ha, ha, ha!!! “Low self-esteem” is another concept of the feeble-minded dumbasses designed, for all their self-righteous prattling about the self-centeredness of those they envy, to be projected onto people who are having a good time with their life, enjoying success and happiness, things the drooling zombies know they can never achieve because of their own self-obsession, that is, their precious juvenile “need” to make themselves feel better about themselves by devouring the successful and the happy.

    “A selfish person is highly self centered and self obsessed. ”

    Blah, blah, blllaaaahhhhh….

    Hey, I’ll give the zombies a little hint: Actually try to discuss something of real consequence, something that doesn’t involve their paltry little daily problems or their mindless obsession with their favorite TV shows or pop music stars, and selfish narcissists like me might actually listen for a change. But if you insist on constantly trying to focus my attention on the banal, the superficial, the lame, the uninteresting, the “needs” of the mindless zombies, then yes, I will most assuredly tune you out.

    As for me expressing my opinions, it sometimes becomes necessary to put the stupid in their place lest they become convinced their delusions are reality. When they begin acting according to their delusions in ways that threaten me or my livelihood, then you’re goddam right I will speak up and expose their stupidity to humiliate them into shutting the hell up and crawling back to the dirty little hole of neediness where they insist on dwelling. By the way, my doing this spares others much grief they would undoubtedly suffer if these zombies were actually allowed to act on their stupid, vapid ideas. Oh, is that “negative”? (There’s another molly-coddly group therapy code word of the “needy” zombie-cannibals.) Well, so sorry, but stupidity and ignorance need to be called out for what it is rather than be treated as legitimate ideas.

    If your eyes are open and your brain is functional then you should be able to see that this world is DROWNING in bulls**t. All of the stupid ideas adopted by societies in this age of ours–redistributing wealth to the “needy,” treating the intellectually inferior as “equals”, and whatever other idiotic idea that has dominated the modern world–are now bearing the rotten, sour fruit their needy, stupid little planters sowed for us years ago. IF ONLY selfish pricks had spoken up more aggressively when the seeds were first planted all those years ago, if they had simply called the stupid morons and feeble-minded emotional cripples on the carpet and explicitly denounced them and their precious little “needs,” perhaps we would have a much brighter and happier world today.

    Well, namby-pamby loser zombies, thanks for allowing me to shower my pearls of wisdom upon you all. I thoroughly enjoyed the catharsis.

    May you all be happy in the hell you’ve created for yourselves. Me, I’m going to make the best of it by being the most selfish, self-centered, narcissistic prick I can be.

  2. 87945John says:

    Selfishness is bad !?? You should know that there is “bad” and “good” selfishness.
    Bad selfishness is all what you wrote here, but good selfishness is much more.
    Good selfishness is the road to truth. People should be more selfish, not less selfish. But let me explain the context.

    When I harm another, I feel guilt/remorse – even if it’s an accident. Guilt/remorse do not feel good. Therefore, to prevent myself from feeling unwanted feelings, I try not to harm people and as I go through life, physically or psychologically. My motive is very selfish.

    Those religions that tell you that selfishness is wrong are also the ones who are telling you that it is wrong to look within (where Jesus said the kingdom of heaven lies).

    Of course, one can only hold this position after they have learned how to protect themselves from others and how to manifest their wants and desires (as I have). Selfishly protecting myself (using the power of peaceful thought) is a very selfish thing to do as well.

  3. @adeline says:

    You would be very wise to get physically away from that abuse! Is there a relative or shelter anywhere you can go to. It might be inconvenient for a time, but your physical and emotional, as well a spiritual well-being are at stake. My mother was murdered by my stepfather almost a year ago and I’m sensing your husband (soon to be X I hope) has a hateful, murderous spirit. It sounds like he had a bad relationship with his mother. Your life is in jeopardy so please get away from the enemy- even when it disguises itself as a friend, relative or intimate partner. He simply must be let GO and put in God’s hands. But you need to get out of the way for Him to deal with your husband and his mistress(es). The key to your survival: Get humbly on your knees in prayer, fast, and read, meditate on and memorize the WORD OF GOD. I’ve fled from abuse and am blessed now and you’ll be highly favored and blessed as well. God shows up mightily for the weak, mistreated underdogs when they exhibit even a mustard seed amount of faith. God bless and heal your soul that the enemy has tried to vex.

  4. Loren says:

    @adeline
    You would be very wise to get physically away from that abuse! Is there a relative or shelter anywhere you can go to. It might be inconvenient for a time, but your physical and emotional, as well a spiritual well-being are at stake. My mother was murdered by my stepfather almost a year ago and I’m sensing your husband (soon to be X I hope) has a hateful, murderous spirit. It sounds like he had a bad relationship with his mother. Your life is in jeopardy so please get away from the enemy- even when it disguises itself as a friend, relative or intimate partner. He simply must be let GO and put in God’s hands. But you need to get out of the way for Him to deal with your husband and his mistress(es). The key to your survival: Get humbly on your knees in prayer, fast, and read, meditate on and memorize the WORD OF GOD. I’ve fled from abuse and am blessed now and you’ll be highly favored and blessed as well. God shows up mightily for the weak, mistreated underdogs when they exhibit even a mustard seed amount of faith. God bless and heal your soul that the enemy has tried to vex.

  5. Kate says:

    You are on the money in all ways except as to the influence an unselfish person can have on them. Not much! These people hurt others for life. Forgive them and move on. That’s often the best answer. Wish it weren’t so.

  6. Sandra says:

    I feel better knowing others are like me in having to put up with a spouse that is so very difficult to live with. For 31 years I have persavered. I have learned to ignore the hateful nasty words for the most part. When these type of people show their true colors I try to keep my mouth shut and try to distance myself. It took a lot of years to figure that out. I hope to have peace one day. Good luck to sell of you in the same situation!

  7. Annie says:

    I so agree with all of the comments on selfish people. I am married now 25 years to one, I tried to leave but he threatened suicide by hanging himself in the house. So for the sake of my beautiful children 18 and 14, I stay, and because I do not want anyone driven to that.
    For me, the constant struggle with his lazy, tight behaviour means I pay 90% of everything the family needs, support my children and run some rental houses to survive.
    This year, am completing an MSC in Business and Enterprise for me. Its hard to remain focused, positive and strong but I have to try for the girls….

  8. rosy4real2 says:

    This article is so true, my husband is selfishness personified just at the tender stage of marriage and in so much hurt as a result of this young man’s attitutude. He has never supported me in achieving one meaningful thing in life, i have given up family, friends,career,business,money, time, energy you name it just to satisfy this big baby like a whole that never gets full. I am presently pregnant and I have taken certain decisions which I will carryout once I put to bed by God’s grace. I have had it. Tanx

  9. Beulah says:

    I like this article. I have a sister with all of these traits including meanness, which one of the commentators added here. She is one of the deadliest persons you’d ever want to meet. Her husband died at a young age at her mercy, having been de-balled first. The poor guy had no self esteem by the time he passed. She always manipulates circumstances and events to suit herself. A person (her husband) can give and give and give and she takes and takes and takes and never gives any thing in return. Sometimes she will say thanks, and thats about it. I learned a long time ago not to ever give her jack shit because she just thinks she deserves it and feels no obligation to give you anything in return. That penny-pinching-hoarding-selfish-controlling-manipulative C deserves hell.

  10. Foolish says:

    Your entire article is just speaking what the choir(public) already known.Whether due to there own biased or not. Your article have not broken any new ground.
    What do you call people who’re too weak to be selfish…and therefore they’ve to be ‘good’ so that they can get help and comfort from other people?Are they truly good,or are they good out of necessity to survive and be happy?
    In conclusion, Your entire article shows selfishness from a very biased point of view. You don’t talk about selfish people who’re not willing to hurt others since there ‘selfishness’ in following there own ‘selfish’ code of arms disallowed it.
    Selfish people have to control everything?!? What does that have to do with selfishness. That has to do with self-confidence and self-esteem and even circumstances.Someone who is extremely confidence or enjoy life struggles can be selfish and face no discomfort in not being in control. You simply can just put your prejudice into an article and make other believe its true. Finally you actually use society scorned as a reason for the selfish person to change?Heroes and many great people are misunderstood by society and scorned because of them being ahead of there times.You using society scorned as a reason not to be selfish.

    Simply means that selfish people can JUST PRETEND TO NOT be selfish and act good and get what they want from being good. Nothing change, except now they are respected for being pseudo-selfish(inwardly) good.

    Simply because they’re selfish.Doesn’t mean they’re weak,strong,evil,good, secure,insecure,brave,coward, or any of those things you talk about. I can be selfish and be good. I can be selfish and be insecure. This world is not so simply that you misguided believe is correct.

  11. Josh says:

    Unfortunately, selfishness is natural for some. The same way that being generous is natural to others. These traits absolutely describe a young woman I worked with when I was younger. It ruined my job and I eventually quit. It was one of those deals where we were forced to work together. When her life was good, everything was fine. When she was angry at the world or angry about some break up, guess who caught hell? My only regret is that I did’nt scream at her, but I was a young man just starting my career. I don’t mean this to try to burden anyone, but sometimes selfish people need the whip. Take something away from them. Maybe take yourself away from them. They don’t respect words. Action is the best way to teach them a lesson. I speak from experience. Empty threats mean nothing to them. Trust me, they will never change. They are seeing how far they can push you and take advantage of your kindness. All the best.

  12. jackie says:

    Hi, thank you for this very good article. It’s good in that it points out what’s true of all mankind. We are selfish people; some less than others, but all are guilty. I’m writing b/c someone said the reason “Jesus died was to stand up to wrong.” That’s not true. The reason He died was for our sins (including selfishness; which springs from self-centeredness). His blood paid for our sins, and He rose again to give eternal life to those who recognize their need, turn to God and receive Him by faith.

  13. jackie says:

    The Him is Jesus. God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet in rebellion to Him, His Son died for us (Romans 5:8).

  14. Kate says:

    This is an exaggerated (categorization) of something that is present within everyone. Of course, some people possess such characteristics to extreme extents, but I don’t half laugh when I hear people talking about “those selfish people” as if they’re some other entity which are separate to the rest of us “normal” or “selfless” people. Hahahaha.

    Have you never been a little bit selfish? Selfishness is actually contagious, because it’s always justified with something along the lines of “Well, they were being selfish first.” Or “No one cares about my needs for me, so why should I care about theirs?” The truth is, few people are actually 100% selfish. Most people, upon realising the sort of thoughts / behaviour they’re capable of, would cringe. I would go as far as to say that all of the people who give off these selfish appearances grew up alongside other selfish people, so developed their fight for power and control – “no one else looks after me so I have to do it myself!!”

    Of course, all this is an illusion and the moment you start being selfish, all those negative thoughts about how little everyone else cares about you, what you have to say, your efforts to help, your opinions and belief, are reinforced by their reaction to your egotystical attitude.

    In response to Valeria; children ARE actually born selfish – they learn not to be, ideally by example and if not, by observing facts throughout their life. Some adults still have tantrums. To label a child as selfish is assuming their awareness can never grow, and also you imply that you have never exhibited those traits; you are different; you are better. That failure to acknowledge is selfish in itself.

    We are all the same, we all trust when we’re accepted. We all respond to love, all deserve a chance, and some respect. Bad behavior only results from a lack of these things. The answer is in accepting the future’s children, loving them, and having patience despite how tough and unfair life can be. Be stong and don’t pity yourself!

  15. irshad says:

    Sir/Madam,

    How to change selfish husband …please provide me the solution…

  16. Teresa says:

    Psychopaths make up between 1-4% of our human species. In the past the insanely selfish were needed for human evolution. But as in all of modern life, our human evolution has not kept up with technological advancement. Not all psychopaths are serial killers. Indeed, most psychopaths are not interested in your life, they are interested in your money first, and then anything else you might have that will enrich their lives. Successful psychopaths can be found in corporations, politics, religion, government, Wall Street, anywhere power and money is brokered. Our societies need an effective test (DNA?) to identify suspected psychopaths and then monitor their behavior accordingly. To fail to do so, out of reasons of “love” or “justice”, fails to acknowledge the pathology of psycopathy. You can not “outsmart” these individuals, they do not feel the way a normal person feels. get it? think Alexander, Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin, Cheney, Oral Roberts.

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