5 Steps To Curtail Defensive Behavior

Argument, discussion, negotiations etc are very common in everyday life. Also important is your need to present your ideas and show your mettle. However in same scenario lies one of important human trait which is a defensive behavior. We are so much in love with what we own that we are not ready to take any criticism. And if someone does that, we oppose it with all our might. We close all doors that lead to our reason and do nothing but defend our point of view. It is like fighting against a crime which you have not committed even when you are not blamed for it.

Defensive Behavior is certainly not desirable trait. Defending your idea and making sure it gets heard is important but not at the cost of being defensive. Being Defensive makes you vulnerable and deviates the direction of the discussion. The focus shifts from what is important to not so important things. Also it spring bitterness and people start to consider things based on unimportant factors rather than their real worth.

A discussion or analysis of ideas is very important because it highlights its worth and exposes its bad parts. At same time defending what you believe in is also important. This necessitates the need to push your idea and defend it too. Below are 5 steps that would help you to defend your ideas without being defensive about them.

1)Do the Homework- It is important to back an idea or a suggestion by a solid argument. This is possible only when you are prepared for possible questions and their answers. This again in turn is possible only when you have done your homework properly. Studying your arguments from all angles and pondering on their intricacies with much care spells success.

2)Listen- During conversation or argument it is important to listen. Make sure to disarm the person in front of your before you begin to assault. Few minutes can give you a good idea on how to crack the person in front and accordingly you can build your argument. Also this gives the other person a feeling that they are being heard and also that their suggestions are well considered. Listening is an important communication trait that you must master. It is also very effective tool against defensive behavior.

3)Take Feedback- Love feedback and do take it in right spirit. Feedback is breakfast for champions and you should not feel shy of it. Rather than looking at an argument as criticism, look at it as feedback and always take the positive aspects from it.

4)Have Patience-Patience is the key when you want to curtail defensive behavior. The biggest blunder people do is that they lose their cool quickly and consequently lose control of discussion too. So rather than having a complete control themselves, they get controlled by the other people. Patience is the most powerful weapon to surprise and defeat your opponents. Have plenty of patience to let other fell low on their own before you put your own point.

5) Persistence and Presentation- Last but not the least, if you strongly believe in what you have with you, leave no stone unturned to prove it. Sooner or later people do understand the positives. Make sure to present your ideas in comprehendible manner which is easy to understand and relate to. Simplicity is the key .

Defending your point without being defensive about it is very important. You can never fall in any conversation till the time you have the ability to withstand all criticism without losing sight of your point of view. Defensive behavior puts you in s disturbing situation that brings you nothing but more problems. And these are those problems that basically do not ever have any solution.

Picture-Matt Monath