Whether she drives you mad or you suspect that she is cheating, you yourself have found someone new or your differences turned out to be too deep to be ignored, you have decided to break up with her. But how to break up with your girlfriend? I can tell you right now there is no easy way about it and I don't think there is a universally correct alternative. However, you must remember if it's really final you have to first adjust to the idea, imagine yourself living without her completely (if the break up is one-sided, she won't want to be friends, at least not from the beginning) and don't tell everyone you were the one who initiated the actual break up. So keep in mind the following pointers for when you do the deed.

1.      Act like a gentleman. There are many aspects you should pay attention to here. Keep in mind the whole way through that you are walking on thin ice and there isn't a question of you to being left off the hook. Once you've taken this decision, letting her know is the honest and hard thing to do, even though it's honorable. So be extremely polite and try to be gentle because she is probably going to be really hurt.

2.      Be firm. In connection to my previous advice, you mustn’t fall into the other extreme. Don't let yourself be so touched by her reaction (tears, hysterical fits of outrage, whatever that reaction is) that you find yourself unable to go all the way through. Don't change your mind and give the relationship another chance just because she seems very desperate, give it another chance if she reveals something revelatory, something that changes things between you two. Remind yourself that you took this decision not only for your own good, but for hers as well. If you know you can't possibly make her happy, then let her go. Sooner or later she is going to respect you for it.

3.      Don't be a coward. There are so many ways you could become one, but you wouldn't admit to it. So how to break up with your girlfriend? Don't ask her on a date in a public place so that she doesn't make a scene (if you take responsibility for breaking up with her, you can handle the scene) and under any circumstance don't text her, e-mail her or call her up to tell her this. No matter how long you've been an item, this sort of behavior is outrageously low.

4.      Explain your reasons. One essential thing to know in how to break up with your girlfriend is that she will definitely ask you to give a detailed account of your motivation. The big Why. So you'd better formulate a speech in your mind beforehand. Be as frank as you can, but maintain a certain level of diplomacy. You could be a step ahead of her and start by explaining why you don't think you should be a couple anymore.

5.      The "Friends" option. If you knew how to break up with your girlfriend so far, maybe this sort of open closing will suit you in the future. Ask her if she wants to remain friends with you only if you truly like her as a friend, don't bother saying it if you don't mean it. If you always enjoyed her company and the two of you always had fun together, just the chemistry isn't there anymore, and then ask her if she would consider the notion after an adjustment period.

6.      Boost her confidence. If she takes the news relatively well, don't tell her it's not her fault. Tell her you are not suited for each other, but she will find somebody else because she has so many lovely qualities which made you fall for her in the first place.

7.      Make sure she understands. It might come as a shock to her so you have to give her a few minutes of space, with no talking. Let her process the information and then assure her that it is not the end of the world, just of a very important phase in each of your lives.

8.      Know how to break up with your girlfriend if you were living together before this happened: don't raise the issue of who moves out if she doesn't. Remember that you took your time analyzing facts before it became clear to you, so she might need a while to digest the new information as well.

These were the most sensible pieces of wisdom on how to break up with your girlfriend. Just think it through: if it's at all possible to save anything, let her know something is wrong and try to fix it together. If the relationship is flat lining, end it. But brace yourself, it might get messy!

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