The Fear Of Commitment

Fear of commitment refers to avoiding to a long term relationship. This generally occurs in love life or married life. She says “yes” as an answer to a proposal and then backs up by just saying that it was a joke. And if at all she enters into a relationship, she just escapes from any work; she just escapes from any kind of commitment. It might be because of many reasons.

So let us see the reasons for this fear of commitment which is generally coined as commitment phobia by some authors.

Reason 1- The people who have fear of commitment just make a mountain out of a mouse hole. They think some bizarre things about the person who is proposing or with whom she wants to marry or fear about the situations which arise after being committed to that person; fear of facing the future with that person. It might be because she wants to stick to the same way of life or she might not have confidence in herself.

Reason 2- This fear of commitment is a very ridiculous thing. The lady thinks that if the person whom she is committed to is not the kind of person whom she wanted to marry then what would be her plight; this sentence is very confusing. Isn’t it? Let me explain. It so happens that if you have too many choices to pick which one would you pick up? Obviously you don’t take a choice or else you fear to take a choice; because you tend to think that if you take it and you find it not that useful, then what would you do with it? So if you are given to choose among many different people with different tastes and attitudes how you can decide the right person you want? So out of this fear of mistake some people fear to commit.

Fear of losing family and friends:

Some people fear to commit because of the fear to loose family and friends. They apprehend that once committed they have to get acquainted with spouse’s people whom she doesn’t even know. Or else if she is committing to that person against her family’s wishes then if anything goes wrong from that person, the fear of being accepted by her family again.

Fear of losing independence:

Often in a relationship, you tend to sacrifice something for the betterment of the family. So some people think that this sacrifice is coming in the way of their independence. So they fear to commit. And often in a relationship sometimes you need to step down for your spouse. This only enhances the relationship. These people are a bit egoistic to step down. This fear of losing independence often makes them not commit.

Fear of commitment is a very dangerous attitude. Sometimes people with fear of commitment tend to leave a work without completing and just walk out. This happens in the relationship also. They leave their mates in untenable situations making them face the future lonely. This leads crumbling relationship. Let alone relationship with spouse these people can’t satisfy children. Result is children grow up with a lacuna be it father or mother. Fear of commitment is very common in men and women but the reasons are different. For men it is because they want to have some space for their own and for women it is because of inhibitions or bad experiences from past or childhood.

The main thing to be done with these people is to understand their fear. These people are not bad or unworthy. It is just that they do not have the confidence to face future, to face spouse or to complete a commitment. They understand situations in a better way. And if given confidence then they might be the best mate. But giving confidence to them is the main thing. It depends on how you deal giving them confidence.

Note: This is only for those who have fear of commitment.

The only way to overcome fear of commitment is facing it daringly. Just think when you do not overcome fear what best can you give your spouse? And if you are single and searching for a mate then in what best way can you search?

Commitment is very beautiful provided you go for it. Relationship will be very beautiful with that commitment. And if you want the best relationship then commitment is must. So forget fear of commitment and be dedicated in your relationship.

Picture – bricehardelin