All the relations in our lives can be divided into two types. The first type is of the relations that we are born with; whereas the second type is of the relations that we build during our course of life. It is well observed that mostly the relations that we develop, build or establish during our course of life takes more prominence and achieves more importance than the ones we are born with.
Among all the relations, the most important one that turns and twists our lives is our love relation. It can be a blessing as well as a curse, sometimes. You are blessed if your relation lasts forever and does not lose the initial spark. You are blessed if you still find your world in your partner’s eyes. You are blessed if your world revolves around your partner. But, sadly, the romance gets over as soon as a flick would.
The relation that once you were ready to die for takes your life. You can no more stand a person with whom you wanted to spend many lives together. Partners’ habits that you watched hours together earlier seem to irritate you now. You start to hate the smell of the body that once was worth dying for.
You never know when a relationship may turn sore. Initially you take the differences sportingly. But eventually they develop into cracks and become intolerable and irritating. How long can you go on with a spoilt relationship? How do you decide whether to continue with the partner? How do you know when to give up in a relationship?
You no more enjoy physical relations: This is the first prominent sign of a relation that is on the verge of dying. A happy relationship is often built on a satisfactory physical relation. But if this foundation becomes shaky, it indicated that the building is about to collapse. It is better to get clear that get buried under. If you no more find yourself physically compatible with your partner, you no more enjoy the act that once was so blissful or you and your partner find excuses to avoid getting intimate with each other, then it is the harbinger to give up.
Mutual discussions don’t work: If your attempts of having mutual discussion to sort out the differences did not work, your partner did not show any interest or did not pay heed to your pleas, then it is an indication of a high time to call it quits. It only shows that your partner is no more interested in sorting out the issues. In such cases, even if you patch up for the time being, the issues will raise their head again in near future. So, do not spoil the future by compromising temporarily. Judge the outcome now and give up.
Sticking together just for the sake of it: If you find yourself stuck in the relationship for the sake of it, get rid of it. If you find that nothing new is happening or your relationship is getting stagnant, call it a day. Sticking together for the sake of it actually stalls your personal growth. You also bind your partner unnecessarily and drag your life along with. Better give up and explore new avenues of freedom and growth.
You compromise too often: If you find yourself compromising on your dreams too often, that means you are not getting enough freedom in the relationship. If you often find that you curtail your choices, forgo your will or give up your wishes, then the relationship is smothering you. Give up the relationship before you give up the real stuff that makes your life. A healthy relationship shall provide for enough space you, and your dreams and desires.
Trust and respect are lost: If you do not trust or respect your partner anymore; or your partner do not trust or respect you; get alarmed. No relationship can survive without mutual trust and respect. Without these supporting pillars, your relationship is bound to collapse, or it may end up as a drab. Trust and respect for your partner makes this relationship different from any other. Better give up if you lose these.
Well, these basic guidelines can help you decide when to give up in a relationship. Timing of giving up is equally important. Do not keep waiting under a hope that situation may improve and a better day will arise. If the above signs are evident, then do not wait. Give up a relationship before you are forced to give up everything else.
This post is by Sanjeev Raspaile
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