How To Deal With Bullies

16 November 2009 No Comment

This post is not about the bully game or ant the bully movie but it is about dealing with bullies you face in everyday life. They can be just anywhere like in school, workplace, neighborhood or streets. The Bullies command a position by virtue of their some quality that makes them beatdown or take other people for ride in an unruly manner. Intentional or unintentional, the truth is that their behaviors do give some problems to people who are at receiving end and make them feel helpless or bad about themselves. The question on why do people bully or what you can do if your child is a bully can have different connotations or answers and it varies from person to person. Some people do it for fun, some are compulsive by nature, some people cannot control the urge, and while there can be many who may not even know that they are bullying around with other people. The truth remains that they exist and are very much part of this society.

It is in human nature to feel supreme and boast about things the moment they realize their position is one that of authority. You may not be a bully on a street but you can become one at home. You may not be a bully in school but you may become one in the playground. Often it is influenced by an environment in which you operate. Weak environment prompts a human being to demonstrate their strength while a strong opposition makes them lie down and control their inner urges. But funny part is that consciously or unconsciously every human being posses this quality and they have no control on when and how it will show up. You can suppress it but you cannot kill the feeling all together.

Lets see what exactly is the behavior and how you can deal with bullies at any stage in your life

The Bullies

1) Makes you feel bad about yourself

2) Hurts you emotionally or physically

3) Makes you feel helpless

And the problem is

1) No amount of complaining would help

2) You cant take such problems to law

3) No one except some bigger bully can help you

End result

1) You start to live with it

2) It takes away your peace of mind

3) Your mind is not free

It is a typical situation which we face everyday. The problem is that we tend to lookout for a solution without realizing that solution lies with us.

Now let us study this with different perspective.

What you do if your Boss is a bully

1) He makes your life a living hell

2) Everyday is a curse for you

3) Each day you live with a fear in your mind

And your

1) Parents cant help you as they might have helped during childhood

2) You cannot go to Bosses Boss

3) You cannot call cops

End result

1) You change job

2) In new job you meet another bully. You change job

3) In new job you again meet a new bully. You again change job

Be childhood or Job. Situation essentially remains the same.

What You Can Do? Stop Running.

Stop Helping others. Let People help themselves

The solution lies with you. The solution lies with your child. The solution on Dealing with Bullies lies with you, your child, or someone who is at receiving end.

What you would do if you meet a tiger alone in your way

1) You would run away

2) You would fight him out

3) In no circumstances you would invite and allow him to eat you.

The truth is you would find some solution when your life is at risk.

Continued Below.........

Likewise, Find a Solution to bullies

1) Make them Friends

2) Ignore them smartly

3) Scare them or put some fear in their mind

Make them friends

1) When you know your peace of mind depends upon him, make him your friend

2) Make him indebted by offering some help

3) Make sure to be there when he needs you help.

Ignore them smartly

1) If you can make them friend, ignore them so that they just don’t notice

2) Be smart enough not to come in their eyes

3) Shift the point of focus to someone else.

Put some Fear in their mind

1) Find their weak point

2) Find what makes turns them off

3) Find their secrets

Basic Point is that

1) Don’t Sit back

2) Either kill the target or make it soft

3) Drive the person rather then getting driven by it.

You encounter such situations in everyday like. You face such people in Job, Office, Neighborhood, school, college etc. Why get Scared of Bullies. They are Human Being too just like you and me.

Face Them. Coz they are everywhere.

So better learn to live with them rather than running from them.

Strike the Right Chord.

Be a Smarter Bully

Photo credit- ^ @ ^ ina