How To Save A Marriage
Is marriage a gamble? It is a pity some articles online actually described marriage as a gamble. No wonder the rate of marital problem is so high. Example, in the US marriage scene, 4 out of every 1000 people get divorced, this ratio does not include marriages with marital problems or couples who are on the how to save a marriage list. Put this record against the marriage rate of 7.5 out of 1000 people, the result is tearfully unpleasant. This means that out of 1000 people, approximately 8 people marries in the US in 2005, and out of the 8 married couples, 4 divorced, bringing the total percentage to 50% rate of divorce cases – pathetic. Today divorces are so easy to achieve, thanks to individuals, legal agents, and relevant authorities efforts in providing a fast and quick marriage divorce cases. Greater strength and invention is directed more at dissolving marriages than solving marriage issues. Divorce does not however have to be the end of marital problems. On how to save a marriage information, reasons for problems in marriages, why couples get divorced and possible solutions will be tackled.
Reasons why couples break up
The first step to how to save a marriage attempt is to find out the reason for the breakup in the first place, because the reason(s) is actually the antidote that will do the mending. It is like using a snake poison as a solution to a snake bite, and according to the concept of cause and effect by Aristotle, it is unwise to pursue a solution when you do not know the cause. Without further ado, the following are some of the reasons why marriages break up, and also constitute a reason for marital problems.
1. Ignorance. This is a major cause of marital problems and divorce. Imagine the writer who described marriage as a gamble, would you expect that kind of person to make something good out of marriage? Gambling is an unserious sport hardly requiring logical and moral investment. It is a game base on “try my luck” and therefore requires little or no ethical consideration. Therefore it is a sport engaged by unserious minded people who lacks direction. For this reason it is highly erroneous for anyone to compare marriage to gambling, it is invariable declaring that God is a gambler. Unsurprisingly, there are people who also equally perceive marriage as a gamble, and that is why there is such a high fall out in marriages today – seriousness a major factor that drives the wheel of successful marriage is lacking, and what is left is “let me see” relationship people call marriage.
2. Singles mentality. Some couples finds it difficult to drop the previous life of single hood for marriage lifestyle, like Lot’s wife in the bible they keep looking back to the times when they where single and independent to make decision without consulting anyone, go anywhere they like; anytime, any day anyhow. So they keep looking back, missing the old life to an extent of allowing it to affect their marriage, and what happens – the marriage may not turn to a pillar of salt like the case of Lots wife, it will result to something equally dreadful like – divorce.
3. Infidelity
4. health issues can cause marital problem
5. lack of understanding
6. immaturity
7. Fornication: Sex before marriage is a major cause of marital problems, because when sex is conducted before marriage, it blocks ones ability to perceive the other person, leading to making wrong choices, and premature bonding
8. Impatience
9. unforgiving spirit
10. addictions
11. Un-Godly marriages
Steps to saving a marriage
How to save a marriage requires a very simple procedure and that is obedience. It is distressing that man due to inventions, good life, excess knowledge, etc, have veered so far away from the originator of Marriage. Below are some of the principles God ordained for successful marriage:
· No to fornication
· Patience
· Maturity
· Genuine love
· prayerfully seek for a life partner
· Good communication
· Knowledge: Obtain knowledge information for reliable sources Marriage is a serious affair and not a gamble. If you need to make it, get educated, be ready for marriage, and never marry because you are under pressure to do so. Rather it must be because you are genuinely in-love and ready (financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually) for it.
Marriage like every other relationship has its share of conflicts, the difference is that while conflicts among wrongly suited couple leads to how to save a marriage ventures, conflicts among the right couples aid in building up great block of strong and everlasting marital bliss.
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