How To Stop A Breakup

A breakup can be a nasty, hurtful or horrible deal, depending on how serious the relationship is. Either way, this particular “How to stop a break up” is dedicated solely to people who are directly involved, not to their helpful friends. Because I think a relationship can be salvaged only from within. So if you want to be a good pal and stop a breakup, lock the couple in a room together like they did in medieval times to stop a divorce and wait and see what happens.

But if you are on board of a sinking ship and there is no rescue vessel in sight, these following pieces of advice are for you. What follows are 7 suggestions on how you should try to stop your breakup.

1. Admit to the problem. You’ve identified the symptoms: your partner has distanced himself / herself from you, he/she appears to have a separate life which he/she doesn’t like to discuss and most annoyingly, you don’t share that cozy intimacy anymore. So how to stop this breakup from happening? Try to figure out why he/she is behaving this way. Don’t spy or pry, but observe them more closely.

2. Get into his/her shoes. After you’ve subtly tried to understand the reasons for his/her changed attitude, ask yourself how come you are satisfied in the relationship and your partner isn’t. What makes such a big difference? Where do your perspectives split? This will help you see his / her reality.

3. Communicate for real. It’s not you, it’s me is a cliché which doesn’t work if you intend on salvaging your relationship, it only works if you want to put an end to it without much hassle. So when this much is at stake you must whip up the courage and ask: “What’s the matter? How can I make you happier?” It is not groveling, it is a simple and disarming question that will get you where you want to be: at the root of the problem. Also make it clear to your partner that any issue can be discussed freely between the two of you, that you are strong enough as a couple to face it together.

4. Communicate until you reach exhaustion. One of the best qualities in a lifetime partner is empathy, which means being genuinely interested in what your mate is going through, hearing about everything he / she has to say, even work problems, health difficulties or family issues. You have to really open up and be all in it and listening helps the other person tremendously. If he / she asks for your opinion afterwards, use diplomacy, but give your true thoughts on the matter. Do this constantly for as long as it takes, it will show your partner how reliable and thoughtful you are. Also, that even when things get ruff, you’re not going anywhere. Showing your utter devotion is one of the things to do if you know how to stop a break up.

5. The little things do count a lot, so in order to succeed in stopping your breakup, you have to start paying attention to them. If you’ve known your partner for a while, you probably can help them by doing what he / she really hates doing. Water the plants, take out the trash, pay the bills or take the cat to the vet. It will give him /her some time to relax, a break from the everyday routine. Anybody can appreciate that and the person who made it possible.

6. Reboot romanticism. You’ve been together for a while, so why bother showing your care? You might not suspect it, but tenderness is one of the key ingredients that keep you in tip top mental shape. So if you’ve gone on autopilot and neglected it in the last few weeks or months, start practicing it. A kiss in the morning and one in the evening, a massage, a bouquet of fresh unpretentious flowers and you might start changing your partner’s state for the better. A more daring idea would be taking him / her to a fancy date, go out just like you did in the beginning. This is how you stop a break up in style.

7. A bonding activity. For old couples especially, who desperately need to reconnect, you need to spend some quality time together. Stop your breakup by starting something new which you both could enjoy: a pottery class, exotic cooking lessons, wine tasting or a dance course. Learning a new skill at the same time might bring back your healthy competing drive and your good humor.

If you’ve decided to persist and stop the relationship you’re in from falling apart, the things written above should help. The change you make must be radical and you should be willing to do almost anything to stop the breakup. So always remember you took your decision because you thought that your special person was worth it, and that trying hard is the only way to reach the honeymoon phase again.