Learn To Say No To People- Simple Tips and Ways

Saying ‘No’ is tougher than most of us think it is. Often, we go through this embarrassing and difficult situation that compels us to say no to requests, orders, commands, demands and proposals. Many people find themselves in a situation when they feel that they should have said no, but could not. Saying no is really difficult most of the times. During the course of life and its everyday routine, we feel to say no but find ourselves unable to garner the courage to do so. A heartfelt ‘No’ never comes out of the mouth and dies its natural death within. Many people have confessed that ‘No’ is indeed one of the toughest words to utter and it takes immense effort and courage to say no to people.

Why is saying no so difficult? Why this simple two letter word puts us in an uncomfortable situation? Why saying yes is so very easy but saying no is not? Why do we fear saying no? And why is it important to learn to say no? Not saying no has some important reasons attached to it. We refrain from saying no, mainly owing to the fear of hurting someone’s feelings. We may refrain from saying no out of sheer respect for the other person. At our workplaces, we consider that saying no is equal to disobedience and challenging the authority. However, these misunderstandings are the first things that we need to clear before we learn to say no to people.

Always Saying Yes Isn't Good For You – Saying yes every time to everybody whoever comes your way will only add more weight in your wheelbarrow. Just out the feeling of not hurting the other person, we comply with every request that comes our way; and eventually we land ourselves in a fix. By saying yes to everybody, we tend to bite more than what we can chew. We get overcommitted and build unwarranted stressful situation for ourselves. After all no one can fulfill obligations more than he or she can handle. Finally, this may end up in feeling incapable, losing confidence in oneself and low self esteem. Taking all this in perspective, it is advisable to say no when you actually want to. And it is not difficult if you keep in mind the tips we give here.

How To Say No

First of all, understand that by saying yes and accepting what you cannot comply; you are inviting trouble for yourself. You are putting your own credit and relations at stake. Is the risk worth taking? If not, say no at first before getting ahead. It is first step where you need to learn how to just say no

Secondly, if you do not want to hamper relations with the other person, then give a valid reason for saying no. If the person feels bad or hurt, it’s his or her problem. At least you will be clear from your side. This is better than saying yes and not fulfilling the requirements.

Thirdly, kindly place your apologies for not meeting the expectations. A genuine person will understand your honesty and respect your decision of saying no. There is nothing to be lost in being honest. As you care for the other person, he or she must also care for your feelings. Additionally,

· Be honest: Never cite falls reasons to get rid of the person. If he or she later finds out the truth, you stand at the risk of losing your image in his or her eyes permanently. Do not fabricate false situations to get out of an obligation.

· Be brief: Whenever you say no, do not mince your words. Do not add ifs and buts to your reasoning. Be clear, concise and speak face to face as far as possible. Avoid elaborate justifications or explanations.

· Be respectful: Always show respect to the other person even while denying his or her requests. Do not be rude or use tactics that will let the other person down. Strong relations are not affected by a ‘No.’

· Be firm: Do not change your decision once you say no. Do fall to frequent pestering or requests. Saying yes later will only show that you were saying no just to avoid the person. Once you say no, stick to your words.

The Significance Of ‘No’

‘No’ is not a mere word. It can signify many qualities and traits of your personality. The first impression saying no leaves is that you are clear in your mind, and not blindly saying yes to everything that comes your way. This trait empowers your personality and put weight in your words. An important part in your zeal to learn to say no.

Saying no also shows assertiveness on your part. It shows that you are not giving up meekly if you are not ready for it. Saying no signifies that you value your commitments and understand your priorities. Denying the requests in which you are not interested will allow you to concentrate better on the tasks in your hand.

Finally, you must remember that you are responsible for your life. You have the right to accept what is good for you and refuse what is not. You can be nice to the people around, but without sacrificing your interests and priorities. Learning to say no and just saying No to people does not mean that you do not care for them or breaking your relations. It is only asserting your right of decision making and being honest. Say no whenever you want to and lead the life you want to.

Picture- Bichuas (E. Carton)