‘Marriages are made in Heaven.’ Well, may they are indeed. But no heaven ensures the after-marriage services (like post-sales services!), do they? No. it is up to the couple to maintain the marriage. As easy as it sounds, maintaining marriages is hard. Even the happiest couples have their own complexities and need to look after it regularly. Wedding rings do not come with the 100 percent guarantee of success. An exchange of rings often conveys an exchange of hearts, apparently. But as people get out of the honeymoon phase, literally and figuratively, they get so much wrapped up in their separate personal bubbles that living under the same roof cannot prevent them from bouncing away. In many cases, successful beginnings of marriages end in dreadful nightmares called divorce. It is sad how so many people start having problems right after the enthusiasm bubble bursts. It is even sadder to witness how a lot of couples run to marriage counselors in order to save their most personal type of relationship while giving away a lot of money.

So, how can you work out your marriage? How can you maintain the marriage? Apart from the day to day matters of properly watering your delicate plant of marriage, their come some crucial periods in a marriage that can blow off an apparently happy and satisfied married life. These are called the crisis stages of a married life cycle. There are many crises in the marriages but usually there are three important stages that leave the steady marriage shaky. These are the three stages that need close observations and immediate cure.

The first crisis stage is immediately after the honeymoon phase is over. People face reality with a striking revelation. Such eye openers can devastate married lives. It is often the case that people are startled when they are required to adjust to the abrupt change in the surroundings. They are faced with a lot of responsibilities at once. It becomes hard for them to adapt to such situations. In this stage people often break down which negatively frowns upon the marriage. In today’s life, as more and more people are getting used to the notion of living together before marriage, couples are often faced with these problems while living together and may split.

The second crisis arises when the relationship is around seven to eight years old. At this stage, couples usually have their children. They are introduced to new responsibilities. The added responsibilities over prevailing ones often make them panic. Some more horizon of the unknown is revealed. Apart from being spouses, people become parents as well. This is another stage where people may have to rethink the married life again. Formation and growth of new life in front of the eyes probably make them think their lives and decisions over. This is another crucial period that requires proper attention and care.

The third phase is more prominent, more complex and more familiar to us. It is called the mid life crisis. It starts when the couple is at their forties or fifties. Their children are usually adults by this time and move out. The spouses are freed of their parental responsibilities. They suddenly have a lot of free time. New problems start building up. New problems at this stage twenty five to thirty years into the marriage are very unfortunate but are very common. Such problems, at times, require the inclusion of children too. If it does, then it is up to the children to often counsel their parents.

In order to get rid of the big and small marital problems that are unavoidable, people really need to work. Maintaining the marriage is almost like doing physical exercise. If you do exercise on a regular basis, you will keep fit, but if you stop at any point, you will start gaining weight and deem to be unfit faster than normal. So are marriages. You have to provide care for your marriages in order to survive the marriage, but if you ever stop trying, you will suffer greatly.

Love is certainly one of the most important components of a marriage. But the problem is it is not the only one. You cannot milk this cow and meet all types of needs. There are other crucial components as well. All of them are important too. If you want to maintain your marriage, then you need to become more serious, more spontaneous, thus the marriage will remain ever green. A little effort is a must; otherwise you will not gain anything, more precisely put, you will lose everything that you have gained so far!

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