The Male Midlife Crisis

In today’s society we often joke about someone going through a mid life crisis, but they are real, not a joke. When people enter midlife they naturally reflect on the life they have lived and considered what lies ahead for them. While female mid life crisis is more commonly discussed, the male midlife crisis is also an event that occurs. It is important to understand the causes and signs of male midlife crisis and know how to cope and help your partner cope during male midlife crisis.

Causes Of The Male Midlife Crisis

Age- Male midlife crisis generally lasts between 3 to 10 years and is triggered by an event generally occurring between ages 30 to 50.

Places- The male midlife crisis is caused by children going off the college, job layoff or retirement, or a close friend dying. This period in time allows a man to go through introspection and think about their life as a whole. Often times they will be disappointed by dreams that they had in their youth that went unachieved and will never be accomplished. Also, men may suddenly be wondering what else can be done with their life. Even successful, retired men may now feel that they have no use left in society.

Events- The male midlife crisis may also be caused by physical events, most importantly the lowered level of testosterone. Testosterone is the male hormone that is also responsible for physical traits such as hair loss and expanding waistlines. If testosterone decreases, estrogen naturally increases causing a male hormonal imbalance. This imbalance may be responsible for the moodiness and erratic behavior demonstrated in men, during this time in their life.

Signs Of The Male Midlife Crisis

So what are the signs of male midlife crisis other than being between ages 30 to 50?

Erratic behavior- The most common description of males in mid life crisis is erratic behavior. It is common for men in the midst of midlife crisis to change jobs, whether it is for more money, more status, or a complete change in lifestyle.

Physical appearance-Another common sign of the male midlife crisis is changing physical appearance which may include change in hair style or color or a sudden interest in exercise or diet. Unexpectedly making expensive purchases like a fancy car, boat, or new home can also be signs of males going through a male mid life crisis.

Irritable male syndrome – Some experts say that for many men they are just not himself – suddenly moody or a change to an outgoing personality. Most commonly the male mid life crisis is described as ‘irritable male syndrome’ or just generally grumpy. This particular change is generally linked to low testosterone levels. This may be compounded in that stress (caused by work or personal strain) may lower testosterone; therefore, compounding the problems

Getting Through The Male Midlife Crisis

There are many ways to survive the male mid-life crisis. It is most important to support your partner as they go through this change. Males are more than 80% higher to commit suicides and males in midlife are 3 times more likely to commit suicide. Several ways to help your partner get through this time include:

Get him help- Seeking out professional physical or mental help may be important to get him through this time. One of the easiest ways is to suggest he have his testosterone levels tested. Only 5% of men with low testosterone levels are actually being treated. Increasing testosterone levels may ease the stress of this time in his life. In addition, low testosterone levels can also lead to serious disease such as stroke or heart disease. It might also help to suggest that he see a counselor to discuss his issues. Talking to a mental health professional may allow him to have a more positive outlook on his life and could possibly recommend actions to take.

Provide Support And Realize That None Of It Is Your Fault – Helping your partner get through the male mid life crisis may simply mean providing support. Listening to his thoughts, concerns, and new goals can help him to understand which direction he needs to go. None of the attitudes or changes that come from this life process is your fault; however, you must realize that some of his actions may change your daily lifestyle. By giving him space and discovering your own independence, you can both grow.

Help Him Find New Avenues To Express Himself- Maybe it is a new sport or way to dress. By assisting your partner is finding new ways to express himself you are building his self-confidence and self-worth, two things that lack during the male mid life crisis. Supporting him in new activities, allows him to see that you are walking with him on this journey.

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