Many a times, when you are introduced to someone who is interesting and suave, or attractive and lively, you see the possibilities of a romantic link up, if you get to know the person better. At such times, even though you feel drawn towards that someone wishing to know him better, you hesitate to approach as you are unsure of what questions to ask and are afraid of appearing too conspicuous and eager. You feel like asking questions to the other person which will no doubt help you to know him/her better, at the same time leave an unfailing impression of yourself. The feeling of knowing someone better might even result for a lifelong friend leave apart a stranger whom you’ve just been introduced to or seen at the farther end of the room.
To get to know People better is also a way good way of extending yourself , because while attempting to know someone better, you tend to promote yourself positively so that you create a substantial effect on the other person, for him/her to open up to you, unswervingly giving yourself a chance to develop and explore your own self. In fact, a lot of the questions you pose make a good starting point for self-evaluation before attempting to know someone better. Thus, when you are attending any social function or a party the questions you come up with, to know the other person well, speak a lot about your personality and the type of a person you are.
Before knowing someone better or before we think of some questions to get closer to someone, one thing is most important that proximity cannot occur in the first meeting itself; it might take a few dates or meetings for you to break the ice. The topics for conversation, even though if aimed at probing the personality, likes and dislikes and the attitude of the person, should be subtly places and not appear as if you are interrogating. Some brilliant conversation with a low – key approach might really help you to know that person better whom you find attractive and appealing. The other very important thing is to actually listen to the person, even ‘listen’ to the body language, to know him/her more. Often we are so engrossed in making our own impression, that we tend to over hear some important clues which might tell true tales about the real personality the person is encompassing. Last but not the least let the conversation flow naturally. The topics are simply hints to be imbibed in the conversations at proper junctures and not to be planned in a particular order or manner.
These topics or set of questions might help you know the other person better at the same time projecting yourself as a suave, interesting, enigmatic, impressive person capable of having a good time with.
· When you are romantically inclined towards the person and want to know him better, the most pertinent thing you have to gather is whether the man is married or single. So try to aim some questions which might help you know this. Asking questions like where he stays; which locality and with whom might help you to get the answers in a subtle and a polished way.
· The other thing when you wish to know someone better is to know whether the person can be a fun companion and will it is possible to have a good time together with him. Here, you might have to read between the lines when you are asking questions or striking conversation related to how he spends his time. The questions which might give an insight might be very general like what is his occupation; what he does to keep himself busy; what do they do in their free time. Look at the way he answers them. Notice whether the reactions are cool, full of enthusiasm, complaint prone or rather controlled and measured. This will give you real a picture about his personality so that you can judge your compatibility with him/her.
· When you find somebody whose tastes are adaptable to your likes and dislikes, chances are bright that the person might turn out to be a long time companion. To assess someone’s beliefs on the finer points of life, questions pertaining to education, intellectual desires, and hobbies might reveal a lot. Be careful to let the conversation be natural enough to make the other person, whom you wish to know better, feel at ease.
· Social behaviors of a person speak a lot about their personality and conversations aiming to know about the social life of a person are another good way of knowing someone better. Questions related to family, friends, acquaintances might help you gather information about the personality of a person, whom you wish to know better, as the friends one chooses speaks a lot about the other person as well. One usually gels well with those with whom he finds an association with, at some level or the other.
· Another important thing to judge is the financial condition of the person. It is obvious that the one whom you wish to know better should be financially sound and in a position of facing life’s demands in a fair and consistent manner. To judge one’s financial position, questions concerning the activities he/she does during free time, the hobbies they indulge in might come handy. The kinds of places where he prefers to go and with how much ease a person is handling the finances also can be a tale teller.
What questions to avoid? When you are trying to know someone better take care not to mention the topics which might scare him off, or make him feel suffocated and drive him to run away from you. Topics related to ex-relationships, marriage, children might appear too personal and spoil the fun. Leave apart the desire to know someone better the person might scratch you out of his list forever.
Look clearly and not with the tinted shades on: Another way of knowing someone better is to judge the way of talking; the manner of speaking might tell about the personality; the reactions to the situations will speak a lot about the values and morals. The point to be adhered to is that, apart from listening to the answers to the questions, keep your eyes and mind open too. It will really help you know a person better, if you really find him attractive and plan to go closer to him.
Also pay attention to the conversation he/she initiates and notice the questions asked and look at the answers with an open mind. Try to notice the amount of interest present between you both so that you will know whether it is fruitful to know him/her better and whether the future dates would be enjoyable to be together with.