Infidelity is one of the reasons why there are problems in marriages and why it eventually ends in divorce. Infidelity involves having a sexual affair with another man or woman apart from your wife or husband, put in another words – adultery. The issue of infidelity is so serious that God who is so against divorce approved of it under the condition of infidelity. Despite this escape route supplied for marriage, God still demand that forgiveness suffice in any marital issues. Equivocally, forgiveness is also among the trait one must possess in surviving infidelity in marriage. Infidelity is an evil, and no one deserves to be a victim of unfaithfulness. It destroys trust, breaks heart, disillusions, and ultimately creates crack in the wall of marriage. Once there is a crack in the wall, the marriage and everything in it is open for destruction: the children, property, wife or husband, and all that the couples have worked years to build. Considering these consequences therefore, why do people commit infidelity? Is surviving infidelity in marriage quest really possible?

Infidelity and marriage

Marriage is made up of a man who lives his parents, to hold fast to his wife. Children are additional members in a marriage relationship, and when they come the marriage is converted to another designation – family. When a husband or wife is considering infidelity, he or she is trying to (not only break a marital vow) but creating a room for invasion into a close knit by introducing another man or woman who as far as the context of marriage goes a stranger. There is no better way of declaring your dislike to your wife or husband than brining in a stranger who is more or less a rival. Imagine this scenario: a man who for any reason decide to be unfaithful to his wife without his wife knowledge – obviously, starts dating a lady (strange woman) who happen to fall in love with the betraying husband. Do you think this strange woman will let this man off the hook easily? (Especially if she is the spiteful type), who do you think will become a target: husband, wife, and children? The answer is everybody; beginning with the wife.

This is just one among many incidence of infidelity. Below are other consequences of infidelity in a marriage. Surviving infidelity in a marriage is based on knowing these outcomes, here they are.

Consequences of marital infidelity

1.                  Divorce: This happens to be a major product of the evil of adultery in a marriage. Some spouse takes unfaithfulness very deeply to an extent of pursuing a divorce while some though are very hurt still possess the will to stand and fight.

2.                  Emotional trauma

3.                  Bad examples to children (if available)

4.                  Susceptible to infections

5.                  Opens up the marriage and family to a possible attack from a vengeful intruder

6.                  God hates adultery hence preventing His protection and grace

7.                  the offenders becomes slaves to stupidity and foolishness

Tips to surviving infidelity

Surviving infidelity is more difficult than how these words may come to you, the burden fall on you – the victim to not pay perfunctory attention to these words but exhibiting personal will.

1.                  The first step to surviving infidelity is to forgive. Forgiveness is a trait that belongs to the strong and vengeance is a character of the foolish. If forgiveness where not the answer to the problem, would it be so difficult to give? Remember that “the easiest way out, may not always the way out, and the way out, is not the easy way out” This simply means that nothing good comes easy, and because forgiving him or her is the right thing to do, it is therefore not easy. Your marriage is bigger and better than a divorce, and more so, better than that strange man or woman. If your spouse begs for forgiveness by all means give it to him, and forget about it. What do you stand to gain from forgiving:

i.                    peace of mind

ii.                 sweet sense of importance

iii.               increase in self value and worth

iv.               maturity

v.                  experience

vi.               in time your love and respect for your husband or wife (the offender) will surely increase

vii.             in turn you get to win more respect, love, and trust

viii.          safe and secured home

ix.               victory

x.                  Gods approval

xi.               Security for your children and love from them

2.                  Be occupied. Occupy your time and life with very useful things, never dwell on the problem. Go for counseling, and stay away from negative remarks. No matter how people say it, divorce is not a way out, if your spouse is so crazy to want a divorce, you can opt for an annulment, or separation (that is if the condition becomes so unbearable). This will give you time to think, pray and continue to want that relationship back, and before you know it, you will become the better for it.

3.                  Undertake individual development plan

4.                  Find out the reason for divorce, is it what you did, or did not do? Find out and fix it

Surviving infidelity requires mental will, emotional strength, and stamina to embark on and achieve, you must save your marriage, don’t allow a stranger to destroy it.

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