The Ethics Of Dating
In the days far gone relationship matters like dating was greatly frowned at, then, men and women where not allowed the luxury of “knowing me kn...
In the days far gone relationship matters like dating was greatly frowned at, then, men and women where not allowed the luxury of “knowing me knowing you”, they are thrown or ushered into marriage just as soon as the families from both sides agreed and a reluctant agreement (mostly) is dragged from the concerned parties (husband and wife to be). The issue, ethics of dating was most unnecessary then, because, the parties involved are married before they even give their consent – it is not necessary anyway. Marriage was base on proposition and not proposal, convenience instead consciousness; love and matters of the heart were deliberately ignored. Today, the opposite is the case, now what is obtainable are: love before marriage, conscious effort towards choosing a life partner instead of convenience effort as practiced before. The issue is does the absence or presence of dating really matter in a marriage relationship? Answering this question boils down to knowing the ethics of dating, the right and wrong of dating, how best to date and not to date, the relevance in marriage, is there really any difference between dating and courtship? These and more will be evaluated and discussed in this article.
What Really Is Dating
A look in the dictionary (pocket oxford dictionary) one of the meanings of date is given as “make a date with” it also goes further to say, “go out together as a sexual partner”. The word dating here refers to an appointment involving two people (mostly the opposite sex) who are supposed to have similar interest and intention of going into a relationship. Within the social circle, dating is brought into light as a start off of a relationship which is usually delivered in a first time appointment. So, it is not surprising to see a man after meeting a lady, anywhere (church, disco hall, parties, seminar, theater, etc) walks up to her requesting for a chance to know her better, and if the request is met by a positive answer, it marks the beginning of a relationship – dating, and if things goes as expected, it may mark the beginning of many dating and as times goes, sexual involvement especially. These days, it is “normal and modern” to mix sex with dating; the question is, is this right? The issue of right and wrong is embedded in knowing the ethics of dating, what people should do during dating and why, will dating out of context affect relationship in anyway? These are pertinent question that must be answered during dating because what people do during dating phase of their lives determines to a large extent the success of the future relationship – marriage. The major reason for marital break down originates from the dating phase and vise versa. Dating is likened to a preparatory school; a place where the basics of education is imbibed as a preparatory intent before facing the education phase proper – primary, secondary etc. The learning, knowledge acquisition, behavior, right traits adoption, etiquette and generally the right and wrong is embedded in the ethics of dating. If it is so, in that case therefore, what are the significances of ethical dating in a relationship like marriage?
Significance Of Identifying And Adopting Ethical Dating
Depending on your objectives for dating; if it is for a more serious relationship like marriage (talking about matured adult and serious minded ladies and gentlemen) your sense reasoning and mentality for dating will be serious, focused, and matured. If you belong to this group, the ethics of dating information should help you.
1. Say no to sex: Whether you believe it or not, sex does not belong in the dating phase, if you seriously wish to get married and beyond that, make a success of your marriage, keep sexual intimacy at bay. Sex negates the original purpose of dating which do “knowing me and knowing you”, perceive the other person efficiently; you need to have your senses cleared, unencumbered, free of obligation and uncorrupted. This is what sex does to you in dating; it messes up the senses, making one complacent, compromising, prematurely committed and incapable of proper perception. Sex during dating makes you overlook things you have no business ignoring like: unpleasant traits, abuse etc. Dating, becomes a do or die affair, you will rather marry a man that is obviously wrong for you instead of ending the relationship with the erroneous hope that he will change later, then, you go ahead marry and start leaving in hell instead of in love.
2. Self evaluation: What exactly do you wish for in a relationship, never negotiate high quality for low quality, and focus on your desire for a man (must be realistic).
3. Respect: respect is another significant thing that must be adopted during dating.
4. The ethics of relationship also dictates that parties never put the cart before the horse.
What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. The fact that a lot people are doing wrong things does not make wrong right. Therefore, if a marriage must work it must be based on the right ethics of dating, the sooner mankind drifts back to what is good the better it will be for all.
